


But We Know Pleasure Is Not That Simple

by Erimthar



Series: Buffy and Satsu [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Comics)
Genre: Canon - Comics, F/F, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2014-11-16
Packaged: 2018-02-25 15:56:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2627549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erimthar/pseuds/Erimthar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A magical crisis forces Buffy to confront her feelings for Satsu, the Slayer who is in love with her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But We Know Pleasure Is Not That Simple

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set during Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Eight, the comic book extension of the TV series. It is set after the events of the “Wolves at the Gate” story and contains spoilers for that.

When Willow swore--really let out a good full-fledged NC-17 curse word--it meant things were bad.

When she threw her favorite phone (the one with the ruby-red cover) on the floor with enough force that it might possibly be broken, things were _really_ bad.

“What’s wrong, Will?” asked Buffy, noodle-laden chopsticks halfway to her mouth.

“ _Amy Madison_ , that’s what’s wrong.” Willow was just about hyperventilating with anger. Seconds away from black-eyed and veiny, in fact. “She’s wrong in ways that _wrongness never dreamed of!_ ”

“Who were you on the phone with?”

“Tokyo office.”

Buffy frowned. “Tokyo? That’s…”

“Satsu’s command. I know. Buffy, you remember that spell Amy cast on you? The True Love spell?”

“Of course I do. Speaking of…”

“Amy cast it on her, Buffy. She showed up outside of the safehouse and hit Satsu with the spell and now nobody can wake her up.”

Buffy felt stunned. “But why? If Amy wants to take out my field commanders, why not use some kind of killing magic? What’s with the fairy tale crap?”

Willow composed herself with some effort. “I have an idea about that,” she sighed. “But right now we’ve got a problem. Satsu has only been there for a few weeks. She hasn’t had time to make any… you know, close relationships. There’s nobody who can give her the kiss to snap her out of it. She’s in trouble, Buffy.”

“Will, isn’t there _any_ kind of countermagic that could break the spell?”

“Breaking a True Love spell with common countermagic is like performing heart surgery with a broken bottle. There’s a very good chance that anything I tried would scar her, very badly. It could even leave her without the ability to feel love at all.”

Buffy had lost her appetite for her Kung Pao chicken and pushed the plate away. Wasn’t it enough that she’d left Satsu behind in Tokyo, thousands of miles away? _She's in love with me_ , Buffy thought, _and that's poison. Sheer cyanide._

“Buffy?” Will’s voice snapped her out of her reverie. “This is important. We have to go to Tokyo right now.”

“Do you think you’ll have found something by then that might help Satsu?”

“I hope so.” Willow fixed her with a steady look. “You.”

Buffy went cold from the tips of her toes to the top of her head. Even her hair froze. _Oh no. Oh no._

*  *  *  *  *

By the time the plane took off, Willow seemed to have gotten some of her good humor back. She even scooted in before Buffy and took the window seat. “If you want out this window, you’re going to have to go through me, Summers.”

Buffy wasn’t in much of a joking mood. “Will, I know everyone hates hearing this… I kind of do myself… but I’m not in love with Satsu.”

Willow favored Buffy with her famous _we’re in trouble but I have a plan_ smile. “Let’s talk,” she said.

Willow waved her fingers and said something. In an instant, all the noises of the airplane vanished. Buffy could still see people shifting in their seats, their lips moving. Flight attendants still glided up and down the aisle. But there was no sound except Willow saying “that’s better.”

“We’re inside a Nobody Bubble spell,” she explained. “Nobody can hear anything we say. Nobody will even notice we’re here or try to bother us until I drop the spell. So whatever we have to say, we can say.”

Willow wriggled around in her seat for a moment, getting comfortable. “Now, you know me,” she said. “I find out everything. Especially from Satsu, in whose case I have taken a special interest.” Buffy squirmed with discomfort.

“Let’s review your case,” continued Willow. “Satsu kissed you up out of a True love sleeping beauty spell, proving she was seriously, legendarily in love with you. You responded by telling her you were sorry that you couldn’t return her feelings, and then later shortly thereafter you drowned her in an absolute _tsunami_ of love.” Buffy wriggled.

“Now, take out your Number Two pencil and be sure to fill in the oval completely when you answer. When you were laying all sweaty in bed, just before I crashed through the roof with a mild concussion, and you’d just enjoyed an orgasm or two…”

“Or six,” murmured Buffy, she thought too softly for Willow to hear.

“ _Six_?” Willow shook her head. “Buffy, Buffy, Buffy. Anyway, were you going _Man, that felt great! My genitals rock!_ Or were you doing what Satsu told me you were doing, which was practically falling over yourself with concern for whether it had been good for her?”

“I… I…” Buffy was at a loss for words. A long pause. “Um, did she say it was good for her?”

Willow folded her arms. “I believe _exquisite_ was the word she used.” Buffy bit her lip. Willow smiled at her and took her by the hand. “Buffy, you have no idea how adorable you can be sometimes, and how clueless. Satsu fell a hundred times more in love with you that night, even with the… um, public embarrassment. Anyway--”

“Then you told her you still couldn’t help her with the requiting of the love thing. And then you swamped her with another love tsunami, only this time you’d had time to put more thought into your moves.”

Buffy turned bright red. “Damn, Will, is there anything she _didn’t_ tell you about?”

“Actually she didn’t tell me much about that night. When she talked to me about it on the phone she got kind of chokey and weepy. I didn’t press her about it.”

“But that last night in Tokyo was her idea! She… _Ow_!”

Buffy rubbed her arm where Willow had just punched it. Will looked at her sternly. “Buffy, Satsu may be great in the sack, but I don’t think even she could have sex with you all by herself without your participation.”

Buffy looked down at the floor, at the grungy crushed peanut between her sneakers. Comparing herself to it, morally.

“Willow… I’m not a lesbian. I never have been. If I was, don’t you think I’d have gone for _you_ a long time ago?”

Buffy flushed furiously as Willow grinned at her. _Shouldn’t have said that shouldn’t have said that shouldn’t have said that…_

“See what I mean?” Willow said. “Adorable and clueless.”

She gave Buffy a few minutes to herself to think.

“So,” she said at last with a sigh. “This is all because in the sidebar of your Wikipedia entry, there’s a line that says _Sexual Orientation: Straight_. Is that it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Love isn’t about labels, Buffy. Especially True Love. True Love means Satsu doesn’t just want your bod or think you’d be nice to go clubbing with. It means _her soul loves you_. It means if the two of you were dead, her spirit would come and find yours. Most people _never_ have love like that.”

“We don’t go through life with color-coded nametags that say _Gay, Straight, Bi_. Love is love, Buffy. Why don’t you stop agonizing over whether you’re in love with a woman, and ask yourself if you’re in love with _Satsu._ ”

Buffy thought back to when she had first met Satsu. Everything about her was cool. Her hair, her clothes. The music she liked. Even her choice of ringtone for her cell (“Save It For Later” by The Beat). _I wish I’d known you in high school_ , Buffy had said to her the first time they’d ever conversed. Satsu had just smiled at that.

The way Satsu moved when they trained. Graceful, fluid, almost as if she were dancing for Buffy.

Buffy remembered that mysterious taste of cinnamon on her lips… the taste that didn’t seem to disappear for days after she awoke from Amy’s spell.

And then she remembered the warmth of Satsu next to her, and on top of her. Her face… almond eyes squeezed shut… biting her lower lip. The sounds she made. The softness and scent of her hair and her body. The waves of _terrifying_ pleasure, when Buffy couldn’t tell where she ended and Satsu began.

That last morning in the airport in Tokyo. Satsu had kissed her gently on the cheek without looking at her, then had turned and walked away without looking back. The terrible, aching urge Buffy had felt to run after her. Then shaking it off, and getting on the plane.

Buffy was a little surprised at the wetness down the front of her shirt, where tears seemed to have been flooding for quite some time. Willow left off stroking Buffy’s hair and put her arm around her dear friend, squeezing her.

“Will,” Buffy sobbed. “She’s gonna die. Or worse. My love hurts everyone it gets in its clutches. It’s not fair to Satsu. It’s wrong.”

“Shhh. Buffy, rule number one of the world, okay? Rule. Number. One. Love is never wrong. Not _ever_.”

*  *  *  *  *

Buffy felt like she was wading through pudding. Satsu lay in a bed in the safehouse, surrounded by worried Japanese Slayers, who looked at Buffy and Willow and whispered among themselves with awestruck voices. Willow shooed them out of the room.

Buffy slowly sat down on the edge of Satsu’s bed, looking down at her beautiful sleeping face. Buffy had only ever seen her asleep once before, on that last night in Tokyo.

She took Satsu’s hand. It was cold. She held it tight until it started to feel warmer.

_Can you hear me?_ Buffy called out to her in her heart. _Promise me you’ll be okay. Promise me that just once, it will be okay._

Buffy leaned over the sleeping girl, touching her cheek, touching her hair. Her lips pressed against Satsu’s. It felt strange and terrible to kiss those lips without any response. They still tasted of cinnamon.

She lifted her face. A couple of tears trickled down and spattered on Satsu’s cheeks. Buffy thought about brushing them away, but kissed her again instead. _Please come back,_ she begged. _Please…_

Buffy had no idea how long she’d been kissing before she realized her kiss was being returned.

Buffy smiled through the kiss as Satsu’s eyes slowly opened. Behind her, she could hear Willow sit down hard on the floor, sighing with relief.

“Hey, you,” Buffy said as Satsu gazed up at her sleepily.

“Buffy? Did… am I late making my report? Is everything alright?”

“It’s more than alright. Way more than alright.”

Satsu blinked. “Have I been asleep? What happened? Buffy… I think I’ve been dreaming about you.”

“I’ve been dreaming about you, too.”

“Have you been asleep too?”

“No.”

Willow had appeared on the other side of the bed.

“Satsu, sweetie… it was Amy Madison again. She hit you with that spell… the same one you woke Buffy from.”

“That True Love spell… but…” Satsu’s eyes went wide as the realization hit her. She looked up at Buffy. “The one only a True Love kiss can break.”

“I’m so sorry, Satsu,” Buffy said, holding back tears. “I love you so much. I’ve loved you since I first saw you… but I just couldn’t… I’m so stupid…”

“Buffy Summers.” Satsu struggled up into a sitting position. “If you ever call the love of my life _stupid_ again I’m gonna lay some major Slayer moves on your ass.”

The two women held each other. “It’s gonna be hard, Satsu,” Buffy said, her voice rough. “I told you, people who love me get hurt… and people that _I_ love… that’s even worse.”

“Buffy… we’re Slayers. I’m not gonna die of old age, and neither are you. But no matter when I die or how I die, the last thing to go through my mind is gonna be _She Loves Me_. And I’ll die smiling.”

Buffy couldn’t reply for a while. Could just hold Satsu and hold her and hold her and hold her.

“I finally found you,” she whispered at last.

Satsu closed her eyes and smiled. “Thank you for looking,” she whispered back.

*  *  *  *  *

On the return flight, Willow felt like a chaperone. “I should have glasses with a chain on them, so I can raise them to my eyes and harrumph at you disapprovingly.” Buffy and Satsu had been holding hands and giggling at each other again.

“Sorry, Miss Rosenberg,” sang Satsu, causing the girls to erupt into giggles again.

Buffy composed herself. “So Will, what the hell was Amy Madison doing casting sleeping beauty spells on my lady friend here?”

Willow shook her head. “For some reason, she wants you together. I don’t know why. Somehow she knows about your, uh, giggly little condition here and she doesn’t want you to be apart. I don’t know why.”

“Thank you, Amy,” sang Satsu in the same giddy voice. More giggles.

“It could be because you guys are the first two Slayers in history to ever… you know, make yummies together? We don’t know about the mystical significance of that.”

“We could ask Giles,” suggested Buffy. “But I think if we did he’d probably set a new world record for fumbling with his glasses and saying _oh_.” This time Willow joined in with the helpless laughter.

“I think we’d best be ready for what Rat Girl and Skinless Boy have in store,” she said after the mirth subsided.

“Might as well be,” said Buffy, gazing into Satsu’s eyes. “Because they’re sure as hell not gonna be ready for us.”

 

 


End file.
